5 Reasons To Do An Ironman

It’s quite possibly the holy grail of triathlon, and it earns you bragging rights forever. Yep, we’re talking about the coveted Ironman. That’s a 3.8k swim, 180k bike, and 42k run, in layman’s terms.

There are many reasons why people choose to embark in this seemingly absurd behaviour, but in addition to feeling permanently superior to the rest of the global population, here are a few others to get you inspired:

  1. There is no excuse not to do anything, ever again.
    “Shall we take the stairs?” “Sure, I am an Ironman, after all.”
    “Could you give me a hand with this heavy box?” “No problem, you do know I am an Ironman, don’t you!?”
    This will become your stock response to literally every challenge that is ever thrown in your direction. Prepare to wow – people will virtually be worshipping the ground you walk on.
  2. You can eat until the cows come home. Then eat the cows.
    If ever there’s an excuse to eat more, this is it. Albeit slightly extreme, but it works. You will barely have enough hours in the day to stuff your face with whatever you want, and you probably still won’t even offset the massive calorie deficit you’re permanently in. It’s like Christmas every day.
  3. You become a cheap date.
    Ever asked a triathlete in training whether they’re up for a ‘massive session’ on a Friday night? A massive session for a triathlete is a 6 hour Sunday ride. Ironman athletes in training forgo their social lives for around a year in pursuit of this acclaimed title, and drinking most certainly isn’t on the cards. Cue going out for one pint and calling it a day. Saves the pennies for the next carbon wheelset, at least!
  4. You could become the next fitness mag cover star.
    Oh yes, you will be in the shape of your life. What normal people do 15 odd hours of swim, cycle and run training every single week? You will be a highly sought-after fitness icon; just make sure you have an agent appointed ready to manage all your bookings and media invitations.
  5. You can get ‘the tattoo’.
    If you want. And yes, it looks impressive, ish. But you and thousands of others will be branded with the same stamp, sort of like a cattle herd. Can also come in handy when trying to psych out your competitors at your local 5k fun run. Alternatives include permanently wearing finisher’s tee shirts in social situations and carrying a branded backpack everywhere you go.

What better reason do you need to sign up? I mean you’d be stupid not to, right?

Amy Kilpin

Written by Amy Kilpin